Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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