this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
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On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
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Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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