how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
