FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You're a waste of cheezeits
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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