member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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