Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
