Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
