we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
