Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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