Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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