I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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