She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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