I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.