There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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