I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
