hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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