Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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