dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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