I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
