Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
