The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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