home. puking in laundry basket.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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