There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
