I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
