How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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