I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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