I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
