Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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