i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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