Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
