Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
