Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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