Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
