I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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