he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
last night I used snow as a chaser
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
