i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
