You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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