Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
