what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
