I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
