i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
