I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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