I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
