So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
