He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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