yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
