u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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