Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
barbara walters just said penis...
She's the barista slut.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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