THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
