I am full of burrito and curiosity
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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