i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
