Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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