I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
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Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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