You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
