Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
