and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
