break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
