I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize